Saturday, May 21, 2011

So we're still here.

As expected by most people with half a brain. I did find a cute picture related to the Rapture:

But if Jesus came today, he'd miss tomorrow's breakfast/brunch. I'm going to attempt these: Crispy and Creamy doughnuts. C(K)rispy and C(Kreme)reamy. Get it? I am such a fool for Krispy Kremes. I really shouldn't have any, since I am still trying to lose weight (seven lbs to go.) But. I can only make a FEW of these. I have to either buy an entire dozen KK or drive to the KK store to buy smaller quantities. The latter is the better option, not only for eliminating leftovers that beg to be stuffed into my face, but for freshness as well. However, it also adds time and GAS MONEY to the total expense incurred by my doughnut quest. If these are close to being just as good, I'm sold.

The amount seems to be really off on the recipe, though, especially if you use something smaller than a doughnut cutter to cut them out. Which I will do, because I don't own a doughnut cutter. Because I've never made doughnuts before. Reviewers have said halving the recipe yields two dozen doughnuts or that dropping the servings to four makes six doughnuts and six holes. I might go with five servings, because that requires 1/2 an egg and that's a good round number. I'll let you know how it goes, readers. Both of you. :p

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Those of you who are on my Facebook may have seen me ask this question before. Don't worry, I'm really not so dumb that I don't know why Chuck Norris is famous. I even made up my own Chuck Norris joke once:


That's funny right there. Chuck Norris may actually be faster than the speed of light, but meh.

So anyway. I work part-time (VERY part-time now, because thank God writing is more lucrative) for a text message answer service. It's NOT dirty, just 411 queries, general questions and silly stuff from teens like "Does he like me?" Although it's usually more like "dos he lyk me omg idk wat shuld i do if he say hi too me?" Yeah, it's that bad. My children must be more articulate than that. It is my life's mission.

Some time ago, this service rolled out a way to signal when a customer was frustrated with a previous answer, so we could give them better service on the follow-up. Not truly necessary, as you can usually tell when the user isn't happy. Profanity and telling me how much I/my mom/my grandmama suck are pretty good indicators in and of themselves. My children must have better manners than that. It is my life's mission.

As with many new things, the rollout had a few bugs. One of the first questions I got that was flagged as a frustrated customer was "WHY IS CHUCK NORRIS FAMOUS?!?!?!" Now, I assume the system flagged it because of the caps and multiple exclamation points, but that's really pretty standard for texting. People generally either type all in caps or all in lowercase, and multiple punctuation marks abound.

But I thought it was pretty hilarious, and told my friend Carly that from then on, whenever I was frustrated, that would be my go-to phrase.



Training Pants are Extinct?

When I was potty training Princess, I had these Gerber training pants for her. They were plastic on the outside and had a padded lining. Lightning is being somewhat stubborn about training, but is to the point now where I am comfortable totally ditching the diapers. I am not quite ready to put him to bed in undies only, though, so I broke out the training pants. They were pretty tight, and upon checking the size I found they really were too little for him.

So today I went on a quest to buy more training pants. Just in case. Wal-Mart did not have them. WTF? They only had Pull-Ups. I'm sorry, but Pull-Ups suck. I got a sample one in the mail when Princess was training, and I might as well have put a diaper on her-it functioned the same. Basically, I see them as more expensive diapers.

So fine. I'll go to Meijer. They only had ONE type of training pants. And they only went up to a pound below what Lightning weighs. But I figured that was fine, so I bought two packs. Ready to go! And while there, I ran into a former coworker that I hadn't seen since just after leaving that job. Fifteen years ago. Yay for feeling old![/sarcasm]

Come to find out, they are ONLY plastic. No padded lining. They will work, I suppose, but seem sort of flimsy. I guess I'm the only person left who doesn't want to waste money on Pull-Ups or wash sheets a whole bunch of times. Maybe the EC crowd (elimination communication, I don't recommend this idea AT. ALL. Never tried it, but c'mon!) killed the training pants market. They find out I like something, they stop making it. Never fails. I'm glad to have at least found SOMETHING that would work and not break the bank, though.

Diapers: 1 Parents: 2. Now once Spongebob is trained, we can quit buying diapers for good! Yes, I know cloth is an option but I just don't feel comfortable that my washer would sanitize them enough.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Adventures in Editing

One of my work-at-home gigs is editing articles. Generally, the articles aren't too bad-just minor changes or adding a few words here and there to get close enough to the required word count. This batch was pretty bad, though, so it took me longer than usual to edit.

I have had issues with my netbook for some time. Specifically, it gets hot and the fan won't kick in. This may or may not be due to the fact that a child knocked a can of Mountain Dew onto it. Mr. Snarky tried to clean it out with electronic cleaner, which seemed to work fairly well. Until. The space bar stopped working. I obviously cannot edit without a space bar.

So Mr. Snarky takes the space bar key off. He finds that a piece underneath the space bar has shifted out of position. The technical name for this piece is "tiny cone shaped doohickey" or TCSD. It is very small and looks like an earring back, sort of. As he readjusted it and prepared to put the space bar back on, the TCSD flew up into the air. And promptly disappeared. FAIL!

After digging through the carpet with a flashlight, muttering words that should have made the carpet pile stand straight up, neither of us came up with the TCSD. Together, we made the decision that since I never use the right-hand ALT key, we would remove the TCSD from underneath it and put it under the space bar. Worked like a charm. We still haven't found the lost TCSD. I don't know where it went. Maybe to the land of missing socks.

Then I had to finish the editing batch, which I did just a little late. At 4:30 AM. God, I was so tired and my brain was fried. Adventures in editing. Yay!