Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random Thoughts from My Head

I need a Shake Weight. I have bat wings since having the children. Mr. Snarky would laugh his butt off if I used a Shake Weight.

I need to lose 30 lbs. Because I say so. Mr. Snarky says I am fine. I say I want to go back to pre-kids status. I was within 8 lbs when I got pregnant with the surprise bebe. Dieting and breastfeeding don't go so well together but I shall start slowly.

I like 80s music. Touch that dial, turn me on. Start me like a motor, make me run. Lovin' every minute of it.

My stepson is being a lazy slug. He sleeps all the time. He is going to have a very hard time readjusting to a school schedule, both for that fact and the fact his home time zone is 3 hours apart from ours.

I like Tori Amos. I'm listening to her now. Cornflake Girl.

I'm out of stuff to say. Toodles.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wow that was a long time

without any snarking! I designed this post just for some friends of mine who get irritated when a certain person on a certain message board with numbers always begins her post in the title box, even if she's replying.


Speaking of Wonderland, I finally saw Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland." Marvelous. The dancing was a bit odd, but whatever, the rest of the movie was golden. Of course, Mr. Snarky will tell you that's because I am in LUV with Johnny Depp, but he neglects to mention that I've had a love for all things Alice for basically my whole life. I even have a Caterpillar tattoo, for Heaven's sake (Sir John, not Disney, TYVM.) I know I told you that. Now I told you again. :P

I actually put needle and thread to fabric last week and stitched on Mirabilia's "Fairy Moon." I effed the whole thing up and ended up ripping out everything I put in. I used the wrong color, despite being under my Ott light. Frog: 1, Me: 0. I wanted to cry but it did feel good to stitch again. I hadn't managed it since the 9 month old was born. Maybe if I didn't try to watch WWE while I stitched, I would have more success.

Speaking of WWE, if I hear "FLAWLESS" one more time, I may pull an Elvis and shoot the TV. Poor Low Ki...er, I mean Kaval. I'd rather have my Pro be the Miz than LayCool. Any day. And the Miz is NOT awesome.

My favorite fundie took her kefir wee and went home some time ago because everyone on teh Interwebs is mean and nasty and boohoo. *insert Mel Gibson mocking crying here* Then she put her blog back up by popular demand for her recipes (srsly? People can't figure out how to make gloodles?), so I shared it with my stepson. He was amazed at the rusty tin can crockpot bread. Good times.

There is an LDS fundie whose name begins with an "L" She shares a last name with a comedian who likes to smash things with a sledgehammer and bills herself as a organizer who is very lazy (Hint: L.O. is the blog name.) I feel sorry for her children. One time (at band camp) they played a game in which they pretended a car had flattened Mommy and she was dead so the kids had to fend for themselves. Great fun. She tries to take all the real fun out of their lives. And she took away the books! No books! OMGWTFBBQELEVENTY!!!!1111111111 I would DIE if someone took away my books and I would never DREAM of doing that to my kids. She says children learn through play and equates a library card to unsupervised access to teh Interwebs. O.O

And although he isn't a fundie, I am having quite a good time with Mel Gibson's meandering stroll down Crazy Lane into Insanity Town. Ebaum's World has a soundboard here. They're having a contest, too. Go check it out. But BLOW ME FIRST! Oh, that wacky Mel!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Snarkin on teh Interwebs crazies

Goodness knows they are in vast supply. From all those people who try to accomplish something but fail miserably, to those with an interesting "personal style" who love shopping at the smiley face store, to those who are just bat guano crazy from birth. I loves me some Interwebs crazies.

One of my current favorites is a looney tune who wallows in poverty and is proud of it. If you read about fundies at all, I'm sure you've heard of her. If you don't, all you need to tell Google is that she lives on a ridiculously small amount of money per month. Like less than $1000. And makes everything from scratch. Including flour-and-water paste noodles ("gloodles", if I may borrow the term), tin can crockpot bread, and sody pop (COKE, for those of us who live in the South) made from sugar and kefir pee-pee. Mr. Snarky would boot me out of Wonderland if I tried some of that mess. And rightly so.

I do enjoy reading snarky sites about her. I thoroughly disagree with how she has chosen to raise her children. On that point, she is quite clear: they *choose* to live as they do. Which is fine for two consenting adults. Your grown-up body, your life. The jury is still out on whether her hubby is capable of choosing that life for himself. But children who certainly cannot choose a deliberately poverty-stricken life bereft of nutrition should not be forced to. I know she has her defenders, but if she really cared or was overly hurt by what the Snarkies say, she wouldn't put all that mess on teh Interwebs for all the world to see.

So go Google the craziness that is she of the Wonder Wash and Star Trek. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Whaddaya think? There is some debate that the site is fake, because it was a big money-maker for her. OTOH, I'm unsure if you can fake that level of crazy. One thing's for sure-I hope if it is real, her husband, mother, or *someone* steps in and makes sure those kids are properly cared for.

What are your favorite sites to snark on? Lemme know, I'm always up for some snarkin.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Hey there!

So I probably have all of one person reading my blog right now, and she's my friend. It's OK. I might entice some more followers into Wonderland at some point.

As is customary with a new blog, I will tell you a little bit about myself. I'm married and have 3 kids under 5 years of age. I don't waste time. But therefore I only blog when I can and have to save posts for later completion quite frequently. I am 32, so I'm Generation X. Or Y, depending on which site's definition you use.

I am snarky. I can't help it. It comes from the overabundance of silly shizz I see on teh Interwebs and in the news. So some things I say might offend you. Some language I use might offend you. Feel free to leave a comment if you wish, though-as I do not censor myself, I will not censor you. Unless you try to sell me Viagra, work-at-home "opportunities", or kefir water. I don't need that mess.

Wonderland...well I loves me some "Alice in Wonderland." Not John Holmes' Wonderland, although true crime is another major interest of mine. I have an Alice-themed tattoo, even.

I don't do Twitter because I can blog. I guess I could at some point but IDK if I want to tweet/twit/twat/whatever it is. I'm kinda wordy for that. So welcome to my little corner of teh Interwebs. Pull up a toadstool, give me some feedback, and most of all, come again!